One of these mornings I know I’m going to be standing in the kitchen first thing and I’m gonna grab the dog pills and take them instead of my own pills (Nexium for GERD, “etc.”). And no I won’t tell you what “other” meds I’m on. That would be entirely too “personal.” But know this: a goodly portion of my daily medication regimen involves high voltage and leeches.
All the bottles of pills are set out on the kitchen counter.
I’m not at the point just yet where I’ve broken down and bought one of those drugstore “old-people pill organizers.” Does Madonna have one of those? I don’t believe she does. We are the same age. So no, I won’t buy a pill organizer just yet.
Instead, I prefer to let all the pills congregate on the kitchen counter and use my “she’s still pretty sharp … for her age” mind discern which are mine and which are for the dog. Or the cats. I think we have cats. Wait, no, just the dog. My bad.
There is a large bit of counter space between MY pills and these dog pills. We call this area the senility buffer zone (SBZ).
And, as a backup security measure to the SBZ, the dog pill bottles are ALSO very clearly marked “FOR VETERINARY USE ONLY” on each of the lids.
It all sounds simple enough, until you realize that I’m the one who put on her dress inside-out and went about her day and errands and toward the very end of the day someone thoughtfully, quietly, approached me and mentioned the “interesting” seams and tags. That was in high school.
Now then. Let’s flash forward a few years. Where are my glasses? On top of my head, as a household-wide search party reports in mere hours.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in Starbucks, in FULL CAFFEINATION MODE, typing something really important to someone super important and I had to stop and seriously Google whether it was 2012 or what? Turned out it was 2015. Not sure if it still is? Your comments are appreciated, especially if you also take dog pills, I want to know how that works out.